What I meant is what I exactly want

Oh crap, trial exam was over,my 6th sense tell me that my result will be comes out with red.hahaha how great is it? I missed two subjects,NO,it was 3 subjects, which were BM,BI and history.Hooray, I'm gonna replace these subjects another day.=="which mean,it's not really end FOR ME! Btw, in my mind, still, trial exam was over with lot of stress. =D Finally! I can online, and finally I can wake up early in the morning without the stress and worry for exam. Okay, yesterday I was hang out with my mama and when we were on the way going to shopping mall, I discover something, something make sense and very important to realize. From now on, I will be very meant to do that, I want to achieve the higher level in my life.

1) I meant to be more responsible for my future.
2) I meant to get good results in my SPM.
3) I meant to put effort to have a better life for myself.
4) I meant to take care of my family and friends.
5) I meant to take a better course in my future college.

well, well, well, I don't want all these kinda stuffs fail, I don't wanna to be a failure, I need to achieve! I really mean it.
Okay,I seems to be more cheerful now. Btw, I still very lazy, everytime I take out the books then there will be something attract me so much,something will attract my sight away from the books. Afterward, I will forget about study. HA! It happened on me since I was standard 4. heh. But its okay, what was past is past right? I need to look forward, SO!!! what I need to do now is to overcome all this kinda disgusting stuff. Aku tau, 7 weeks left, BUT I will try my best! TRUST ME!! I will!!

Nowadays,teenagers just like to make hypothesis,I'm the one who always day dreaming how tragic if I failed everything I list above. maybe there are so many maybe, maybe I will fail my spm and I can't get in any college, and my life is end, maybe,maybe,maybe. When I told all these maybe to my brother, he put his hand on my shoulder and said, "there is no time for you to think all these kinda stuff, let me tell you a story.Before, there's a little kid who is early born baby.Fortunately, he's not a down syndrome but he is retard, when he reached the age of study, he went to kindergarten like most of the kids do. But he discover something, he can't absorb what teacher taught.Time past and past, finally he can start reading what teacher taught 6 months ago,when he look around,he saw all the kids were reading fluently, doing the addtion and substraction easily, but still, he can't even write out the numbers, he is very depress, but he din't give up,he put much effort and try his best, even now, his spm result was unsastifactory, lots of red, but at least he can read and write doesn't same like before. Result is bad doesn't mean end of life, he own 5k per month, not much, but at least he can maintain his life."

I feel like crying, this is the first time he talk to me so grave. I will never forget the story, the kid that he mention in the story is him. I know, he is very self-abased before, but now I know everything will be okay for him. Snif snif, brother!! I am very proud to have a brother like you!! I love you!!!

I understand actually, I understand his points, I really proud of his achievement. There's nothing serious than end of the world. No regret if I did try my best. Not just exam, but everything.