Wednesday, February 25, 2009

锁上

砰......咔嚓....
什么声音?...
哦...
.
.
.
原来它终于锁上了....
我把钥匙拿掉...
毫无犹豫地扔向心里的无底洞....
紧紧地把它密封着
不想再次打开
.
.
.
眼前所有的悲痛都被锁上....
*嫉妒*
*伤心*
*焦虑*
*想念*
*无奈*
*无助*
*寂寞*
*彷徨*
.
.
.
这样看来,似乎心里的围墙越建越厚.....
让自己处在心里没人的世界里.....
这样看来,似乎是在逃避.....
让自己躲藏在没有爱的世界里....
这样看来,似乎是在压抑情绪....
让自己的情绪处在外表平静但内心极度空虚的状态里....
.
.
压抑着,把他们锁上...
不想打开...
虽了解这是行不通...
但已无路可走...
说是平复心情...
但,事实其实是在逃避...
在无能为力的情况下...
只有选择....
.
.
.
*锁上*

Saturday, February 21, 2009

The Horoscope

*Let go of old grudges. Make room in your heart for more positive forces in life.*
**In Detail**
The old grudges you've been carrying around for so long -- aren't they getting to be heavy? It is more than okay to let go -- it's necessary. Are you keeping this event or person in your emotional bank account in the hopes that some day you can cash it in for a sense of revenge? That is no reason to take up valuable space in your heart. Get rid of the bad energy or memories by turning toward the future, not looking back. Make room in your heart for new, positive forces.
Hmm....the horoscope is right.I should put down all the things that was passed, start my new life,not being a fool anymore,and let everything go.....
yeah yeah~ it's definately accurate....the horoscope almost shoot everything in my heart,or on another way,it shows or talked everything that kept inside my heart....
great huh,i should put down the memories and start create new memories..=D

Friday, February 13, 2009

现实主义者

今天,在上化学课的时候,我和cheng聊天.....我才发现....原来我这个人真的很现实....有时候就连什么是浪漫都忘了...是忘了,还是根本就不懂.....连我自己也搞不清楚.....

也许,这也是我造成分手的原因之一吧....男生都是喜欢温柔体贴的女生....可是温柔与体贴对我来说也未免太难了吧....根本不是我的作风.....

浪漫,这两个字对我来说只有....不切实际,天马形空而已.....我一直认为...只要心里有你...其他的事做了只是在浪费时间,浪费金钱,浪费体力....可是到后来...我才发现....有些小细节....如果没做就真的会让人觉得缺少了什么东西....甚至会造成日后分手的主要原因

他们说:"你就是不够细心,所以才会这样的,只要能细心一点,就可以啦."...不够细心...只是个借口吧....其实我根本不想细心...又或者...是我太自私....太注重自己吧...什么事发生的时候...第一时间我只会想到自己.....根本没理会过身边的人.

如果,我的男友不帥,有些时候,我根本不会承认他是我男友哦....人不是都这样的吗? 比如说...你是一个很出名,很漂亮/帥的人....而你的男/女朋友只是一个外貌平凡,毫无优点的人....在某些场合你可能会听到这样的话.."他/她是你的xxx哦...怎么可能....他/她那么地平凡而你又那么地帥/漂亮...你们根本就是两个世界的人嘛" 这是真的哦....有多少个情侣可以接受得了这样的闲言碎语呢? 可能会有吧,可是那一定不是我..... 闲言碎语听多了...到后来连自己为什么当初会喜欢他/她的原因都忘了...

如果一对情侣,双方在外表上没有特定的吸引力....那这段感情真的很快会变淡...然后分手.....

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Agree~

I agree with her, i mean my bestie "xi...errr qiey i mean".
I too concentrate about him....and i feel i did that too over....
She's right,how can i fell in love with a stranger that i dont even know him well and don't even chat..not even once before!! =="

I met him at pavilion that day....there was an event...i think it was a tv show about dance competition organized by astro....i met him....he just passed through beside me...and i looked at him with my horny and sluring face == how swt?

I dont even look or stare at a people before,neither handsome nor ugly. But!! i did this time...what the hell with me? O.O" even my best friends (male) i dont even look at them with a near distance ,even if i look also dint stay longer than 5seconds....=="

arhh....well back to my stranger's story ==" after that i was kept watching the show as long as i know he's in the competition heh....i agree with qiey because she said i'm too over on him...ala...im just dont understand why i would do something bitchy like this ==" i apologize....
I'm not gave bad comment about your XX, qiey....it's just spread out from my mouth well ==" that's not a bad comment anyway...and the.....imma support you as long as you will staying with the crush... ^^ gambateh~~!!

Back to my story larh!! == well.. ahhemm.. where did i stop? Orhh yea,i seem like a stupid,stubborn loving a guy without knowing him anything all the day...but today i did disappointed,because i viewed his gf's friendster profile and the.... i saw their pictures.....how lovely? i know i shouldnt view it but i just out of control ==" somebody help me? i feel so depress now.... maybe my bestie also feel that im stupid like a bitchy...but what i can really sure is "when love is come to you,no matter how you defend,lastly,u also will be the loser".

ERHMMM....i wont stop,and i wont give up!!...i trust one day....he might fall in love with me...^^" but what i must make sure is, that time he is single...heh~ i'm not cursing him,just that if it is possible that i can get near to him, then he must be single so that i only can take action....^^" GAMBATEH!!

gosh!!

WOOOT this is the crippy things that made with seaweed nori damn delicious yea!!! Lurveeee~~

Sunday, February 8, 2009

停下脚步?

累了.....有点困了.....有时侯觉得现在是时候停下脚步....看看除了爱情的风景.....在我心中,在我眼里,风景依然是美丽,依然是如此地甜蜜吗?

没有很美丽也没有很甜蜜......只有空虚,寂寞,想念,嫉妒,憎恨,模糊,彷徨......除了这些,什么也没有.....什么也看不见.....

每当遇见觉得这风景值得我留念的时候.....总是很害怕......不敢停下脚步.....害怕这风景其实也没有想象中的那么美,那么地舒服.......深怕他会捣乱我的生活, 又一次地拖慢了我的行程.....甚至让我无法再次看清接下来地风景,也只能闭上眼睛,让对的风景擦身而过.....

时间,的确是最好的良药.....但,我最害怕的是,我一直迷恋这个良药,盲目地冲向终点,到后来才发现,原来我错过了许多美丽的风景.....

模糊

不知何时开始,渐渐地认同宝在部落格里的一篇对爱情的感想.之前我是很反对她的想法,觉得爱情怎么会是陷阱呢?爱情应该是会让人难以忘怀的啊!

这些坚定的想法开始变得模糊,我甚至对爱情感到彷徨,无助,无力........人本是以外在来判断别人,甜美,帅气都是往往人会产生好感的原因....真心,对人类这种无情的动物来说,根本就是废物......

受过伤后....还会再把心重新地交出来吗?过去无法磨灭,只能选择忘记,伤痕虽愈合,疤痕仍然预留着......

人类为了保护自己不再受到同样的伤害,而筑起一面面高而厚的围墙,不让自己再触碰爱情,深信围墙一旦被融化,就会再次跌到....永远爬不起来........

所谓"天下乌鸦一样黑",与其再次受到伤害...不如选择在爱情游戏里弃权,成为单身贵族......
但......这些想法始终是在逃避.....只是在帮助成为懦夫....

身上伤痕累累,回忆的旋律不停地在脑海里播放着........不仅让人判断错误....
我所谓的判断错误,就是让真心埋藏心里,让虚伪和外在的潜力与人沟通

这样的我....还会看见幸福吗?